I'm going to try to do one of the writing exercises every week and share it with you. So the first one you are asked 3 questions, after each is a group of words, you circle the word you like the most, my 3 words wound up being: Carousel, Insensitive, and Lamb
You have to start your exercise with the sentence: Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around on his wheel. So here is what I came up with:
Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around on his wheel. Not even a carousel, just a plain old wheel. It seems no matter how hard I go or how far I get I'm right back at my starting point. I stay frozen, in complete fear. Some days I wake up panicked; thinking that I am back there. When will the fear end so that I can let my life begin? I have great dreams, yet here I am cowering like a lost lamb, behind shadows that vaguely resemble him and his cold hearted cruelty. Everyday I relive his insensitivity to me and how I truly felt.
Some days I want to scream at the insanity he has bestowed upon me. But I have found that I truly have no fight left. He took it all. Drained me completely of my life and liveliness.
So many questions rise up from my subconscious and so many excuses could be said in reply. But only one answer is true...
"Because, my child, You let him."
So few words, but the truth is in them and it resonates beyond anything my soul can bear.
"Because, You let him."
I can only wipe the tears away and ask myself the question that will always go unanswered...
"Why? Why did I let him?"